In the dream, I reacted and talked to you the way I would if I were to see you today.
I would smile, probably be a little awkward, but I would want to be as nice as I could. I really don’t hate you, I never would, I have no reason to. I miss you everyday. And it sucks that I can’t talk to you and tell you all of this. But, I know telling you all of this wouldn’t be fair to you. I don’t want to put you through anything that may hurt you again.
In the dream, my mom and I were at your house for some reason. You came home from school, and I was sitting on the staircase inside your house. You walked passed, you smiled, but didn’t say anything. Then you came back downstairs, and asked how I was. I asked if you had gotten taller, lol. You asked if I wanted to find out and motioned for me to come hug you.
Then I woke up… I wish I hadn’t woken up before I hugged you. I feel like it would have been really nice to hold you again, even if it was just a dream.
Like I said before, I miss you. And, honestly, I still love you. I really hope you are happy <3
“It’s easier in the dark, but pretty soon the lights will come back on and we’ll go back to being who we really are, right? I mean kissing might be like, I don’t know, whatever to you, but to me, it’ll mean something. And I’ll wake up tomorrow wanting to do it again and again and pretty much all the time. Somehow, I don’t think you’ll think the same.”—Mouth from One Tree Hill
I refuse to be involved with either of you anymore. This has absolutely spiraled out of control in less than a week.
It is amazing, last week, I wasn’t even your friend on facebook, I hadn’t had an actual conversation with you, I was pretty much oblivious to you. But, in the last 5-6 days you have managed to almost rip my apart. I hate the way you’ve made me feel. Last Wednesday, after we hung out, I came home feeling nervous, and I thought it was because I was starting to like you, but now I am convinced that it was my body telling me not to trust you.
You are the vindictive, two-faced, bitch everyone told me you were. But, I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, I tried to get to know you, be your friend, and look past what I heard about you. But, with all that has happened, I can’t. Everyone was right. You are not a good person, I don’t want you in my life in a romantic way or in a friendly way.. I plan to keep you as far away from my life and heart as possible.
And one day, I will tell your brother everything that happened, I will. But, I don’t want to talk to him either right now. But, rest assured, that someday he’ll know the manipulative sister he has that I’ve gotten to know in 6 days. And, I know I’ve hurt him too, and I will probably have to hurt him once more when I tell him I can’t date him. But, he can blame some of that pain on you too. You made all of this a little worse. You pushed me and pulled me in so many directions. You have stressed me out and confused me more than any girl has before. And you can tell yourself and your brother that you just tried to help him, but you know what you did, and I know what you did. That is why I am walking away. This is why I am done.
I will be a half-way pleasant person to you at work, but I will not be your friend.
I have for a few years now, I go on for pure entertainment.
I usually get hit on and usually take pleasure in rejecting the creepers.
10 minutes ago I got a question “You work at Target, right?”….Automatically, I’m a little freaked. I go to the guy’s page, thankfully, he wasn’t anon. He looked familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on where I knew him from.
He said “I saw you once in Food Ave, Janelle said something about me.” Then, it clicked.
These are actually good questions, message numbers?
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4) What do you think about most?
5) What does your latest facebook message from someone else say?
6) Do you sleep with or without a blanket on?
7) What's your strangest talent?
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
13) What's your religion?
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
17) What was the last lie you told?
18) Do you believe in karma?
19) What does your screen name mean?
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
23) How do you vent your anger?
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
28) What's your biggest "what if"?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
33) Choose:East Coast or West Coast?
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
36) Define- Art.
37) Do you believe in luck?
38) What's the weather like right now?
39) What time is it?
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
41) What was the last book you read?
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
43) Do you have any nicknames?
44) What was the last movie you saw?
45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
48) What's your ?
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
50) Do you believe in magic?
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
52) What is your astrological sign?
53) Do you save money or spend it?
54) What's the last thing you purchased?
55) Love or lust?
56) In a relationship?
57) Are you a virgin?
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
59) Where were you yesterday?
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
61) Are you wearing socks right now?
62) What's your favorite animal?
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
64) Where is your best friend?
65) Spit or swallow?(;
66) What is your heritage?
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
68) What do you think is Satan's last name?
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
73) You can only have one of these things:trust or love.
74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
77) How can I win your heart?
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
80) What size do you where?
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
82) What is your favorite word?
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word:heart.
84) What is a saying you say a lot?
85) What's the last song you listened to?
86) Basic question:what's your favorite color/colors?
87) What is your current desktop picture?
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
98) Ever been on a plane?
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
She has asked me twice what I liked about the kiss...
So, rather than telling her and being cheesy, I’d rather just let my followers know…
I Liked: -That she wasn’t letting me out of the car easily. -She looked me in the eye. -She made the first move. -She touched my face. -She bite my lip. -We were both smiling when I pulled away. -When I did pull away, she pulled my face back in. -I wasn’t supposed to kiss her. -It was a surprise. -But, what I liked most, that it was her.
But, what I don’t like, is how confused I am now. I also don’t like how I feel now. I don’t like that sometimes I can’t get a full answer from her. And I can see why I was warned about her.
I spent most of the night with you, you spent most of the time convincing me to date your brother or at least give him a chance. I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no. I am willing to consider what you told me, get to know him better and see how I feel from there.
But, then you drove me home, because you wanted to talk to me alone. You jokingly took my keys, took the glasses off the top of my head, and locked the door.
And you kissed me…
I have to say, in the moment, I was not surprised at all. But, if you had told me last night or earlier today if that, that would happen, I would’ve called bullshit.
I didn’t know what to say, so, yeah, I guess it kinda looked like I ran away. But, I’m so confused. You spent the last two days pushing your brother on me, and then you grab me and kiss me. Not 5 minutes before the kiss we agreed we didn’t want to hurt him, I even said you and I should hang out less.
Your brother doesn’t even know we’re friends, let alone that we’ve been hanging out. I think you two need to have a talk. I think me and you need to have a talk. And I might need to talk to him too.
This HAS gotten out of hand, and I need to stop this before it gets any worse.
She texted me today, “you should treat me to lunch” So, I agreed.
We went to lunch, another long talk about, well… everything..
She ended up paying for me, she said I can pay for her next time.
I am seeing her tomorrow after work.
But, we can’t let her brother know..
Why is that hard? -People talk. -People know. -He walked into a party wearing my glasses, "Why are you wearing Jackie’s glasses?" "How did you know they were Jackie’s….?" -She invited me to a party tonight that I couldn’t go to, and her brother showed up…. THAT WOULD’VE BEEN FUN TO EXPLAIN. -They’re both texting me now =P