I probably won’t see you until Thursday afternoon, maybe Friday.
I have a feeling you won’t want to see me right away even though you miss me. I know I kinda sprung my feelings for you out of nowhere, but I just wanted to be honest. You didn’t react the way I had hoped, and that sucks, but I understand.
I understand if you don’t want to be with me, I can live with that. I just don’t think I’d be able to live with you being with someone who’s wrong for you.
Last night was the first of many overnight signings I’ll be doing on Saturdays from now on.
I decided to stop avoiding you for once. I said hi. I passed by your office around 1:30am, and asked why you were still there. Even though I was way behind on my task, I decided to hang around and talk to you for a little bit. You told me that you missed me and that you liked my new hair. You gave me a long hug, I missed those hugs.. I guess I kinda missed you. But, it doesn’t change what happened or how much it hurt. But, I’ll try to stop being mean to you.
Me: I forgot to tell you, A**** cockblocked me today. Coworker: How? What happened? Me: I was trying to flirt with T***** when we were working together. A**** came over and was like, “why are you flirting with my girl?” Then immediately moved me to another task. It sucked. Coworker: Damn, he went smack. That’s fucked up. Me: Yeah, I felt like I was finally getting somewhere with T*****. But, on the otherhand, I think A**** wants me. Coworker: Double-Team?
Because I think too much. Because I just want to sleep. Because all I can think about is how slowly time is going by. Because it’s not February 2nd yet. And I wish you would come home.
But, it’s also a little crowded in your heart.
Because she’s there. Because I’m there. Because you added someone new into the mix. Because you could have walked away. Because you know that what you’re doing is wrong. Because, of all people, I know it’s wrong. And I wish that when you came back, you’d stop what you’re doing.
But, you won’t.
You’re not going to listen to me. You think I’m just jealous. Maybe I am jealous, but I also care about what happens to you in the long-run. I don’t want to see you hurt, that’s why I always pushed you to work things out with her. But, this new girl, she’s more selfish than I’ll ever be. She actually asked you to stay, I would never have had the balls to do that. I wouldn’t, because I know why you needed to go, I understood, and I supported you even though it’s been killing me this last week. I just want you here again.
Because, my life is empty right now. It’s not crowded at all.