May 2012
2 tags
Birthdays.
I don’t like birthdays. I don’t think I ever have. I’ve never had a good birthday.
I don’t like celebrating the passing of time or life.. I don’t like getting older, and I don’t want to celebrate a life I don’t enjoy.
Go ahead, call me a brat.
I’ve barely talked to you since Saturday. Even when we were hanging out Saturday, I didn’t talk much. Most of the day I just thought about anywhere else I’d rather be.
Yesterday was fine, I didn’t miss talking to you that much.
Today you texted me at 7am to wish me a happy birthday. We texted back and forth a little. I’m pretty sure you caught on that I...
April 2012
I'm handling this the most mature way I know...
I am not answering his text messages.
…..it kinda sucks, actually… He’s like the only person I’ve talked to for the last month.
Tomorrow is my birthday..
And, I’m not even really thinking about my birthday..
I’m really just thinking about whether or not she’s going to text me, or even remember. We haven’t talked in a little over a month. I didn’t wish her a happy birthday, personally; I just had her brother pass on the message for me.
And now I wonder, will she take this opportunity to make amends?
We shall see.....
This is what I'm sure of..
I need to walk away.. I need to stop..
I am going to stop seeing you. I am going to stop texting back. I am no longer going to text first. I am no longer going to put myself out there for you.
I am done.
I'm scared that one day I'll kill myself.
oursuicidenotes:
I don’t want to die, but sometimes I think that I do.